Week 4

Went out yesterday running errands and it really wasnt an issue. just stuck by the promise to stay sober for the day. it was awesome to get out of the house and interact with the world. Almost up to a month but it really is kinda pointless counting how long its been, just like Matt had said last year when i did this. just remember the day of last use. the amount of days doesnt matter if you decide to take every day one day at a time.

my life is becoming more manageable and having the mindset of just starting over is helping out quite a bit with the depression and anxiety aspects of it all. Times that are harder than others i am saying to myself “its getting hard, so staying sober is now priority number 1” until that craving goes away. and i dont feel guilty for dropping everything and doing nothing until that temptation is over and my brain stops trying to justify the next drink.

Another funny part, i try to convince my self that one is ok but almost immediately, i think “well if you are going to get one you may as well get two”, and then i start to plan the day and how much i will need to get through the day, how to get it, how to hide it while im consuming it, how i will hide the empties, how i will get rid of the empties, and if i will be able to get rid of them and not buy more. all that happens in 10 seconds. then i need to stop and remember that when it gets tough, stay sober.